


A porn matter

by Nekomata95



Category: DC - Fandom, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Porn black market, porn mentioned, shifters au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 21:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19093501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekomata95/pseuds/Nekomata95
Summary: Jason finds a Shifters porn black market. That has to be stopped but he needs help.





	A porn matter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lwoorl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lwoorl/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Grappling Hook](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16634804) by [Lwoorl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lwoorl/pseuds/Lwoorl). 



> Yo!  
> I.... I dont know how to explain this to be honest.
> 
> this is like...a fanfiction about a fanfiction AU about DC. but this is canon because the autor say it. all canon a fanfiction can be..and well...I´m doing extra parts that the original autor doesn´t want to write or doesn´t have the time...and..I..  
> nevermind, let me start again quoting the original work by Lwoorl
> 
> "Roughly 30% of the human population can turn into a specific object. These people are called shifters. Shifters appear at random, there isn't a genetical or sociological pattern to predict who will or won't be one. It only happens in humans though.  
> The object a shifter can turn into is usually stablished between ages 4 and 8 and is tied to the individual's personality. "
> 
> to the people who don´t mind reading this without context, cool. to the others more curious I suggest to go and check Lwool work. FUCKING AMAZING! and you can get a few internal jokes :3c

Jason knows that Tim Drake is a nerd. Hell, he's known since the moment he first saw him years ago, but he never thought that Tim could turn everything into a boring academic speech. I mean, porn, tim´s speaking about porn and Jason actually can feel himself getting jaded. someone please give the boy a medal for god's sake. it´s porn! 

 

Tim spent a whole hour giving him the anthropological context of porn in society through history. That was interesting the first fifteen minutes. Damn, those romans were crazy people, after that everything was blablabla in Jason's ears. They are in the middle of 14th century and jason can´t take any more information. He stands up from the comfy couch in the manor and raises his hands in surrender.

-Ok, i'm stopping you right there. No more. why am I listening to this university history class? 

-You said that you needed information about what you found in you last case.

-Yes. I was expecting productor´s names or companies, not a fucking doctoral level lecture.

-This is big, Jason. You found a whole shifter´s porn black market. We need to know exactly what we are facing.

\- I know that. what I don´t get is why do you know so much about porn in history and why do you have a presentation in powerpoint about this?

Tim closes his notes and pauses the presentation in his computer. Well, he did know nothing a few days ago, but in the middle of the research for the authors of the films he found himself so into the matter. Despite the films being so gross and humiliating to any shifter in the world, the concept of shifter´s porn is hilarious. Even in the ancient ages there was evidence of a small group of people finding shifters as sexual objects. Besides he discovered that in the present time there is a part of the porn industry which can legally use shifters to their films if those do not include penetration in their object form. Obviously, the black market offers material to satisfy whoever wants to see ..well, the illegal stuff.

-I...just get intrigued. It´s, I don´t know. Interesting.

-You, young man, are a nerd. Whatever, did you get something useful to the case or not?

-Yes. There is an old building that i think is used to record the films.

Jason sits down back in the couch. That's useful. 

-Perfect. Did you compare the background in the films with the surroundings of the building or what? 

-Uh? oh, no, I did not see the films you sent me.

-Ex-fucking-cuse me….What?

Jason cannot believe it. That is a case. A  _ job.  _ They need to stop whoever is making those hideous videos. He saw them, all of them are nasty, humiliating and he is sure, the majority of the shifters playing in the films are being forced to do it. oh boy, he  _ will  _ stop that. 

-I tried to see one, but… you know, they start to… um, insert the girl in… 

Tim makes a vague gesture with his hands. his face beyond the red spectrum.

-I just couldn't go on. That girl had a object form very alike mine and...ew.

-Tim. I understand, I didn't like those videos either. But, I need help man. I have no fucking clue whom are making that and I personally want to stop it. I feel dirty by only knowing that exists. The whole concept reminds me the look Ra's Al Ghul gave me the day he saw my rapier form and yes… ew. 

Jason feels chills with that. Not a good memory. 

-Look. This is what we gonna do instead of your lame presentation: we put our asses in the couch, watch some of the videos and try to find something that helps us to find  those bastards. you get it?

-You mean, we...watch porn together...in the manor common room…

Jason's face turns white.

-Don´t say it like that. but yes or do you prefer to do it in your room?

-Uh-huh, no way. 

-Good, we have a deal. Let's do this and swear to never speak about this ever again.

-Deal.

As Jason said, they sit on the couch, preparing themselves for the next step. Oh Lord this sucks. They think. They avoid the video with which Tim has personal problems, they choose another where the shifter is a little yellow stick, some kind of toy. The more phallic form the better for the business, Jason thinks. The problem with that video is that the first half is like a normal porn, with moans and normal penetration. Tim can feels the blood in his body go to his face and the south. Fuck hormones, this is not the moment, NOT THE MOMENT. 

A cough behind them almost makes the boys have a heart attack. Alfred with his buttler superpowers gets in the room without them noticing it. The old man says nothing, he just leaves a few sandwiches aside the computer and walks out of the room.   
-Alfred! Wait! This is not what it looks like! 

Tim screams going after the buttler.

-Fuck my life.

Jason whispers under his embarrassment. Another thing to be ashamed for the rest of his life. 

 

A few moments later Tim comes back to the common room. Red as an apple.

-He believes you?

Jason asks. 

-I don't think so. He gave me this.

Tim shows a box of tissues. Jason´s face turn into a red mess. 

-Bruce's gonna sue us for traumatizing his butler.-He inhales deeply trying to control himself-  That's it. We touch the bottom. Nothing can be worse than this so we better get back to the case and finish this shit. 

 

But the things get worse. When they are in the fourth video, despite all Tim´s begging to stop already, they feel a hit behind their heads.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?!

In that moment Jason would give everything he has to be dead again. Not now. Not Dick please. Tim jumps from the couch ready to beg for forgiveness. 

-Dick! I- I can Explain! I swear!   
-You better! Alfred called me so uncomfortable that I was expecting an orgy right here! what are you…? -Dick lands his eyes on the unstopped video, just in the exact moment one of the actors transforms into a some kind of cylindrical structure- Guys...What in earth are you watching? what…? what is doing a shifter in a…? OH MY GOD.

-Dick, Wait! Don´t panic!

Dick rises his hand to his mouth in a gest so dramatic that Tim is sure he saw it in a soup opera. 

-WHY ARE THEY USING A SHIFTER TO MAKE PORN?!

-Dick! Shh. The last thing we need is someone else discovers this in the manor.

-I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS IN MNGHHMN-

Jason snaps closing Dick´s mouth with his hand. They are beyond the bottom of shame so fuck it. He just wants to get enough clues to catch those bastard and then never think about the shifter´s porn again. 

-Dude. I'm gonna say this one time. You can sit with us, help us to stop a Porn black market or you can get your ass out of here and leave us alone to finish this. Believe me, I don't want to spend a friday night watching porn in a room full of dudes. So, will you chill already and help us or not? 

 

Five minutes later Dick is in the middle of the couch, hands covering his eyes but peeking between the fingers. The situation is simply ridiculous but at least Bruce is busy with the Justice League, the man feels so uncomfortable with using shifters to fight crime that if he discovers there is illegal porn with them, he will have a stroke, no kidding. They are in the last video, finally, but they are not ready for the script in that one.

 

“ _ Oh yes, please _ ”

 

The woman in the screen moans, shameless and overacted.

 

_ “Yeah, baby. Do you want it? I have a gift for my favorite slut!” _

 

-I can't do it anymore. please, turn it off.

Tim begs. He doesn't need to worry about a boner anymore. The videos are so nasty that they aren't even hot anymore no matter how attractive the actress are 

-Be a man Timothy, this is the last one and I'm pretty sure that we can locate the place of where this one was recorded. look! in the window! You can see a building! 

The three of them lean over the computer, ignoring the sexual scene. Dick gasps.

-That is bludhaven! OH GOD!

-Dick, shut up! I can't get where-

  
_ “Oh yeah, Daddy! Gimme me that shifter dick!” _

 

The boys freezes. They didn't notice when another actor got in the frame. He turns into a white light and the first man gets a really big dildo from the transformation. Tim knows it, there are cases where someone object form is a sex-related thing. pretty rare but not impossible. 

-TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Dick screams. Jason can´t take it anymore and just laughs, like a lot. Tim is red again, the joke cannot be more perfect, he ends laughing too, way too inmune to shame to give a shit anymore.

 

_ “Yes! Yes! I Love this shifter dick! More! more!” _

 

-NO MORE! JASON, TURN IT OFF!

-Dick! my dude. I didn't know you were a porn star!

They room is full os screams and laughs until a childish voice rises over the noise.

-SHUT THE FUCK UP! 

When Dick sees little Damian entering in the room, he literally jumps over the computer and closes it.

-Damian! What are you doing here?

Tim asks trying to hide the suspicious tissues. 

-What do you mean?! I´m was in the cave all the time and I'm sick of hearing screams down there! if you are going to fight in the common room at least have the decency of moderate yours voices! besides, what was all of that? What were you watching?   
-Nothing! just….uh, a case.

Dick answers trying to look casual.

-Is this about the porn black market?

The big brothers share a worried look.

-How do you know about that?

Jason asks, he remembers being totally discreet with the films.

-I saw the internet history in the cave. Drake spent so much time with that research that I thought  was something worthy to know, but all I could find was porn and pages about sexual behavior in the past. Was it so bad that you all can't see it quietly? So immature.

Damian crosses his arms in a prideful pose. Dick sighs, after the dildo shifter he is so done that he doesn't want to speak more about it. 

-Damian. I'm beggin you to just leave. This is an adult matter and a kid should not get involved with this. 

-What? Why? I´m not a kid. I am used to seeing material not allowed to minors.

-Say again?

Tim is shocked. That has to be a lie. The kid was trained as an assassin, yes, but he doesn't think that a mother could let his little son watch porn just because.

-Are you really are used to seeing adult content?

-Yes. I have seen autopsies and videos about murder and the like. 

Damian says almost proud. Dick exhales relieved. That is still pretty bad but not SO bad

-Oh, thank god! That is what you mean. 

-What else could I be meaning?

-Nothing! Nothing! We are done here so we're gonna leave and start tracking the bad guys. You can go down and continue with whatever you were doing. 

Jason interrupts grabbing the computer and walking out  the room. That was enough for a day, thank you and move on. 

-I demand to be allowed to see.

Damian says. Tim inhales deeply, he knew the little devil was going to say that. 

-Nu-uh. If Bruce knows we let you watch shifter porn he will kill us.

-IT'S PORN WITH SHIFTERS?

Damian exclaims. Jason facepalms himself. Fuck. 

-You didn't know it already? 

-I knew that is a porn black market, but… Why shifters? 

Damian asks, he cannot even get why someone would find a shifter erotic. I mean, a big part of them are boring stuff like pens or magnifying glass, the only logic thing is that they use some shifters to insert in...oh….ohh.

-eeeewwww.

He finally exclaims. the others realize the little boy understands what happened in the videos. They feel safe, there is no way that Damian still wants to- 

-Let me see!

Fuck this child's curiosity. 

-Damian, I will do literally anything you ask if you just leave.

Dick Begs. Nope. he's not gonna allows this kid get a trauma so young, not another one. 

-I want to see. I can handle it.

-No. You can't.

Tim sighs. This has no end, with a quickly movement he grabs the computer from Jason´s hands and opens it. The paused video starts again and the woman screams a dirty “ _Fuuuuuck~_ ” before Tim closes the video and start looking for one in specific. 

-Tim, what are you doing?

Jason asks too much worried to even try to stop his brother.

-He knows already and we know Damian enough to be sure he will try to see this even if he had to fight against us. So, Damian, I offer you a deal. I let you see this and you swear to never speaking of this again and no telling Bruce. Do you understand?  _ never. _

The kid thinks while Dick is praying God that Damian refuses and leaves the room.

-Deal.

Damian says with a mischievous smile. Tim lends him the computer after the kid sits comfily on the couch. Jason sees the start frame of the video and recognizes it. Oh shit! Tim sure wants to traumatized the boy.

-Tim, are you sure-

-Shh. With this he will never bother us again. 

Damian starts it and the video goes on. Dick has seen that one, it's not the worst; he thinks the number nine is a better option if what they want is to get Damian to refuse to watch. That one is silly and…

-OH MY GOD THEY ARE USING A SWORD! 

Nevermind, that is perfect. 

 

A week later the company making the videos just disappears. The material was burn into ashes and the directors get the shit kicked out their bodies by Red Hood. Obviously, Batman gets information about that case, but he never questions details, the matter is solved so no needs to speak with the boys. No one ever mentioned it again. Shifter porn? no sir, they know nothing. Nothing at all and it will be like that forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> That´s it. I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> I´m planning a few more works inspired by Lwool work bc we are friends and we spend a lot of time talking about fanfiction hahaha 
> 
> If you wanna be in contact please follow me on twitter: Nekomata7 (@Bakeneko95)
> 
> see ya!


End file.
